Daddy

My Daddy has been in heaven for 11 years now.   Much life has happened here since he left and I often find myself aching to tell him about it.  I often long to see his sparkle at the new grand babies we've given him. Little boys with skin darker than his other ones but personalities to match his own--more perhaps than even his biological grandchildren.   I think I can picture him better as a little boy now, acting out his passions and whims with charisma and shenanigans.  (I think I can empathize with my grandma so much better now.)    He would be thrilled at these little ones.  What fun they miss without him here too.  He would have undoubtedly dazzled them with his doodads and jokes, typewriter time and wheel barrow rides.  But most certainly they have missed his love and his wisdom.   I know I have.

Every once in a while, Micah will shake his head in sadness that he never got the chance to know his Grandpa.  I nod in agreement.  "He would have loved you!"  I tell him.  They would have been buddies.

My dad would have been so excited about our church.  He loved ministry.  He loved the lost.  He never met a stranger.  He would be encouraged at the growth we've seen and rejoiced at the people who have come to know Jesus.      

My dad used to faithfully pray for spouses that loved the Lord for his children.  My dad adored my husband. He would be so pleased with how he has taken care of his little girl.  He would have seen as I have, my husband's faith stretched and grown over the past few years.  He would know that June 10th, 1995 was a good day indeed.   God had answered his prayers.

Lately, as disappointments and grief seem to flood over me, and some things turn out so utterly upside down, I miss his comfort and wisdom and listening ear.  I want to say:  "Why, Dad?  God is still faithful, isn't He?"   I want to hear his answer.  I know his answer.  But I want to hear it.

And this is his answer: "Yes.  He is still faithful.  I've seen Him now with my own eyes, but I knew it long before that.  Take your burdens to Jesus.  I'm gone but He isn't.  He will never leave you or forsake you. Take your burdens to Him.  Take your joy, your grief, your precious ones to Him.  You don't need me in this or I would still be there.  You need HIM."

So, I don't talk to my Dad--though sometimes my heart longs to.  I take it to the one who made my dad.  Who gave my dad a new heart one day back in the 1940's.  I take it to the One who has a will.  A design.  A story.  A beauty that He is creating.  The One who works ALL things together for good to those who love Him.  The One who is the First. The Last.   This amazing One.  He is my Father.   And now without my earthly father here, I am so much more aware of this.  And I know that this is what HE wants... and it is what he-my dad-would want.  Me to come to Him.  To look to Him in all the rejoicing.  In all the tears and confusion.  In all the noise.  He is my Father and He is here.

"So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God's Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, "Abba, Father."  Romans 8:15

No Such Thing As a Perfect House

I like analogies.  I've learned that some people don't.  But I like them.  It's how I learn best.  Since we've been trying to sell our house I've had time to come up with a few.  It seems like selling a house for us is always a challenge--probably because we need every penny out of it we can get--probably because we never seem to stay anywhere long enough to build much equity.  Therefore, throughout the "toughness" of marketing, and wondering and keeping clean and waiting, I have lots of time to consider and think and pray and wonder and wait.  Here is the analogy that hit me pretty hard:

Salvation is a free gift.  No way in the world can you earn it.  Not one part.  We are called to be perfect.  No sin can be in heaven with God--He is holy.  If any part of it depended on us....We. Would. Fail.        

In preparing my house for potential buyers to see it, I want it to be perfect.  I have the carpets cleaned.  We paint.  We repair.  We replace.  We arrange furniture to make the best impression.  We buy art  or decorations we never would have spent money on before.  And then when we are notified that we have an actual person coming to see the house, we clean like crazy!  We rearrange our life to make our house shine and sparkle and even smell good.  We give up sleep.  We do everything in our power to make our house what the buyer would want.

But.  Every time.  EVERY time.  It is imperfect.  The floor is crooked in some spots.  The carpet is older than ideal.  The light won't come on in the pantry.  There are scratches on the hardwood. One of our windows has a tiny crack.  Our dog has tried to destroy our yard and has done a fairly good job of it at times.   I know that the buyers will notice these things eventually.    And if they don't, the inspector will.

You see, I need God's grace to sell our house.  I need Him to bring a buyer that will look past that and see the house through eyes that see it finished--repaired.  And it causes me to wonder how one might think that we could possibly ever earn our salvation--if God says we must be perfect.    We know we aren't.  And if we miss something, we know the One who sees all.   We will come up wanting.

The moment I think I have my house "perfect", I can count on a shelf falling off the wall, or a dresser with potted plants being tipped over, or the dog digging a new hole and tracking through the house.  There is always something.  I can count on yelling at my kids or being unforgiving, or thinking thoughts that are not pleasing to God.  And the tongue!  Who can tame that??  We will always struggle with sin as log as we are on this earth.

"For all of us have become like one who is unclean, And all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment; And all of us wither like a leaf, And our iniquities, like the wind, take us away." Isaiah 64:6

So what is a person to do who wants to be right with God?  How can we ever have hope of being with Him in heaven?  All of our efforts are in vain because our floors are crooked.  Our very being is something we can't fix.  We need to be made new.

"When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions,having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross." 2 Corinthians 2:14

"for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation. For the Scripture says, "WHOEVER BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE DISAPPOINTED."  Romans 10:1

At this point Christ becomes our righteousness.  We are perfect in Christ.  In Christ alone.

"and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith," Philippians 3:9 


And then we forever have this assurance.  This assurance that we have a place in heaven.  Our salvation does not depend on us.  Our eternal life comes from God to his beloved children.  He will not disappoint.

"For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven, inasmuch as we, having put it on, will not be found naked.  For indeed while we are in this tent, we groan, being burdened, because we do not want to be unclothed but to be clothed, so that what is mortal will be swallowed up by life. Now He who prepared us for this very purpose is God, who gave to us the Spirit as a pledge."  2 Corinthians 5:1-5

Just For Fun

Here is a very basic review of some of the books I managed to read and remember that I read in 2015.  I like to read but I'm not a serious reader; a serious reader will recognize that by the books I've read.  But I do try and sneak in a book for fun as much as I can--a few pages at a time--between my responsibilities and sleep. I also thoroughly enjoy hearing what my friends have read and thought maybe it would be fun to try and recall what I read this past year too.   Here they are-such as they are:

Always fun to read and reliably put me in a good mood: The Minor Adjustment Beauty Salon by Alexander McCall Smith

Most entertaining and unveiled a surprising desire to go to Antarctica: Where'd Ya Go Bernadette by Maria Semple

One that I'm trying hard to like and finish (I have a hard time with her style.): Come Rain or Come Shine by Jan Karon

One that I enjoyed reading to Micah: Ramona the Pest by Beverly Cleary

One that was about a favorite author BY that same author--I really love autobiographies:  A Girl From Yamhill by Beverly Cleary

One that helped me pass the creepingly slow time while my child recuperated in the hospital: And the Good News Is by Dana Perino

One about someone I admire by someone I admire:  41 by GW Bush

One that was trashy and lacked plot and was a general disappointment--don't waste your money even if it is at Costco and you are on vacation and need something to read really badly:  Last Kind Words Saloon  by Larry McMurtry

Creepier than I normally go and still makes me nervous about my closet when I think about it:  The Winter People by Jennifer McMahon

Confusing, exciting, and for younger people than I am, but I really do like this series that my kids got me started on:  Lemony Snicket's  "Shouldn't You Be In School?"  

Both educational and moving:  Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus by Nebeel Qureshi

Encouraging and moving: Prodigals and Those Who Love Them by Ruth Bell Graham

Number 1 book that I read this past year and would encourage someone else to read?  Son of Hamas by Mosab Hassan Yousef

One that I'm reading now and have wanted to for some time (thanks for the Christmas present, Honey!):  North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell.

Devotionals: Streams in the Desert by LB Cowman and Not by Sight by Jon Bloom (Thanks, Amber! I'm lovin' it!)

A  few in my stack for this winter: 

 She Is Mine by Stephanie Fast

Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard

The River by Michael Neale

Mary Barton by Elizabeth Gaskell

The Photograph by Beverly Lewis