I first saw him when he was 2 days old, lying in a hospital bassinet. He was tiny and bundled, this answer to prayer. He was being kept out in the hall near the nurses so they could keep an eye on him. I only saw him from a distance at first. I could see the tiny, dark head peeking out. I wasn't even sure if he was the one, but I was pretty sure. We took a few steps closer only to have the lawyer's phone ring. It was the birth mom and she wanted us to wait to see him until she could be there. Our meeting would have to wait.
My 41st birthday was weepy. I felt forgotten. Not forgotten by family and friends --they were wonderful as usual. I felt forgotten by God. Overlooked by birth moms. Stupid for trying. Waiting and beginning to waver on our decision to adopt again. We were almost to the one year mark where we needed to renew our home study in order to go on. Since we already had 5 children and were OLD, it was already iffy that we would get another call and it had now been nearly a year with our profile out there being viewed. After what felt like a year of rejection I had begun to question whether or not this was really God's plan for us. Was adoption completely a wrong move for us? Or were we merely in the wrong program? I had begun to spend time researching other programs and inquiring how to get on board with state adoptions and even inquiring after specific children in both state and international programs. But those doors also closed each time. We had just decided that we would attend the next class needed to begin the state adoption process if nothing happened in the next week in our private domestic program. We needed the time to psych ourselves up for it. It takes a lot of energy mentally to devote yourself to a program--jumping through hoops, education, paperwork and time. Time. I honestly wanted what God wanted for our family but just didn't have a clue what that was. Our just-turned-five-year-old had been praying everyday for the past year and a half for a baby. He wanted one that looked like him--with the same beautiful dark skin, same curly black hair. Oh, these prayers can be heart breaking. If it weren't for these prayers, I would have given up. But God had heard. He hadn't forgotten. Where my human heart was moved by my child, His must have been even more deeply. He had planned all along that we would get our answer 3 days after my birthday.
A little over a week earlier, on Wednesday, March 12th of 2014 we received an email from our agency with a birth mother profile attached for us to review. We read it and weren't at all comfortable with their requests. They wanted a very open adoption with phone calls, emails, and possible visits. We said "no" based on many reasons having to do with discomfort, fear, and uncertainty, but primarily because our older adopted son didn't have this arrangement with his birth family. Our program director decided to be bold and gave us some things to consider and asked us to rethink it. She made some good points like: no two adoptions are the same, no two children are the same, nothing is ever totally equal, etc. So we took a step back, took a deep breath and told her we would like our profile shown after all. I wasn't too worried. After all, no one had chosen us yet. Part of me felt like this was just an exercise we went through every week or so before we received the rejection. But the other part (mainly the Ryan part) knew that God was in control and if He wanted us to have this baby, He would oversee and protect.
The week passed with no word. I wasn't even sure what I wanted to happen. But I did know that God would perfectly direct our lives. And at the same time I wondered what that looked like. Of course my birthday came with all of the weepiness and doubt, but I lived through that somehow and was starting to feel a bit better about letting go of the "whens?" and "what ifs?" and embrace a new adoption program. I was letting go of the baby dream.
It was the Friday before spring break. I had just gotten out of the shower and was getting ready for the day which included a much anticipated play date for Micah. The phone rang and it was Ryan. He could barely talk because he was choked with emotion. "Our baby is being born right now." I was confused. It sounded like he said our baby was being born right now. I questioned. He clarified. Our baby was being born right now and we needed to get ourselves to Florida.
It's hard to describe the rush of emotions at that point. Your prayers have been answered. Boom. You go from being cautiously hopeful to a new mindset of "We have a baby right now!!" in a matter of seconds. Ryan and I were separated by distance and duties at that moment. It is a weird feeling: that you suddenly have to arrange care for your children, care for an elderly mother, food to purchase for the ones who would stay at home, clothing to pack for some of them, tickets to buy, cars to rent, hotels to book, baby things to buy, notes to write to teachers, people to call, and a loan to arrange. Did I mention it was the Friday before spring break?? But at the same time you have life carrying on. Your husband is an hour away at work. Your older kids are at school. You had a playdate arranged at your house in a couple of hours. And you have no idea where to start.
After texting my high schoolers: "We have a baby boy!" And messaging friends that had been praying about our good news, I turned my thoughts to my day. I briefly considered cancelling the playdate but logic and love won out. I knew that if we didn't do it now, it would be months before I would even consider rescheduling. Plus, my five year old would be heart broken and I would be going away, leaving him heart broken. So, we left that plan in place. And it kind of worked for me to ignore the reality for a bit as my friends hung out while I folded clothes and and the kids played. My friend Jennifer had a Costco run to make later, so she offered to bring me food for my kids who would be staying at home. She also bought diapers and wipes and a few little outfits as a sweet gift to get me started. My father-in-law handled the travel agent and arrangements. My sister-in-law would take my days at my mom's. Ryan was getting things wrapped up at work. I was packing. Things would be OK. But at that moment, what we hadn't worked out were the details of that Open Adoption. We were totally unprepared.
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Adoption. Show all posts
Monday, March 23, 2015
Monday, March 16, 2015
A Beautiful, Tacky Story
Today was a beautiful day and I want to tell you a beautiful story. It's about money. I once read Barbara Bush's memoirs and she said it was very tacky to talk about money. No one wants to hear about it. It makes everyone uncomfortable. Well, Barbara must not have read very many missionary biographies, because some of the best stories involve money. The lack thereof and the prayers for provision, etc and the miraculous answers. So, I guess this isn't really about money. It's about God and His faithfulness and how He takes care of His children. I hope you will excuse me as I get tacky.
I was raised by loving, wonderful parents who gave their lives to full time ministry. My dad was a pastor--always small churches and many in small, rural communities--a couple of them were church plants from scratch. He accepted the call, ready to serve the Lord wholeheartedly and did.
All of the churches were struggling financially. Many of them he had to take a second job to pay the bills which was always a challenge. I remember my parents having garage sales at the strangest times to come up with extra cash for something, and the sales were preceded by prayer for God to sell certain items--sometimes because the items were ridiculous and wouldn't sell without Divine intervention and sometimes just because we needed the particular amount that item would bring. Another time, my parents were out of money and saw that a truck full of meat had spilled on the highway. They were pretty excited until they realized it had been headed for the dog food plant. My mom once went without a new coat for 20 years. I remember because she cried the day that particular streak was broken. Anyway, there's a few examples for you. You get the picture.
Because of their finances they weren't able to own their own home.....until they were in their mid-fifties. My grandparents gifted my mom with a chunk of cash to help with a down payment, and the seller privately loaned my parents the part the bank wouldn't. We were all over-joyed to have that modest and wonderful home provided for us. When they were nearing their 70's and went to sell that home to move on to their new and final church ministry, the market had increased significantly, and they were able to buy their new home outright. The only problem was that Dad had to pay for a new roof on the old home and was going to take a small loan to do it. But he won a contest at a car dealership instead--for the exact amount needed to pay for that roof. Unbelievable.
Fast forward about 10 years. My dad passed away about 2 years after that move, leaving my mom with a home and a small pension from his years of driving school bus that he did to supplement his pastoral income. Meanwhile, Ryan and I had adopted a little baby boy in 2009. We had had financial struggles of our own for different reasons--nothing like my parents had, but real ones nonetheless. But for some reason God laid it on our hearts to dream and pray for a child through adoption. We had no idea how we would pay for the adoption, but when the time came, and we got the call that we had a baby to pick up in 5 days, God provided a private loan for us at literally the last moment. Eventually, by His grace, we were able to pay it back. In 2013, we decided to pursue adoption again. Once again we wondered how we would pay for it. It would cost twice as much this time around, and it was scary. But we looked back at God's faithfulness in 2009 when we were in ridiculous financial shape, and we remembered that He DID provide. We knew He would this time too, so we moved forward trusting Him. We got our call for our beautiful baby last March.
Today, my Friends. Today I paid off that loan taken out less than a year ago. I didn't think that would even be possible at the time. And do you know where that money came from? It came from my parents.
My mom died in early November leaving that paid-for-house to my siblings and I. It sold right away. We each received a portion. Not in my wildest dreams did I think my parents would fund our adoption. But God is GOOD. He is GOOD to those who put their lives in His hands. (And I'm speaking of my parents here.) He is not unjust to forget your work and the love you have shown towards His name. "Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure-- pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return."
When I realized that we would get this money, I felt guilty at first. I felt that it was sad that my parents had sacrificed so long and hard and I was the one going to benefit. But then I realized that by some crazy miracle my dad was going to be demonstrating Proverbs 13:22....and Hebrews 6:10, and Luke 6:38 and more. And really, it isn't my dad or mom demonstrating this, it is God demonstrating that His Word is true. That He is faithful. That He is generous. That He cares for His children.
And then I realized that I was foolish. That, yes, I would enjoy their earthly gift to me, but they were right at this very moment, enjoying eternal, heavenly rewards and the presence of their faithful God which is far greater.
My parents would be radiant to think they had some part in bringing a new life into their family. I can hear my dad's laugh in amazement and see the sparkles in their eyes to think that God had done this in this particular way. My mom got to meet and know and enjoy Zechariah before she died, and I know that this would have pleased her to no end.
When Ryan and I were first looking into adoption, we were in some of the worst financial shape we had ever been in, but I read somewhere then ( and I wish I could remember where to give credit) someone saying that we shouldn't let finances keep us from adoption because "God cares for the orphan in a special way and HE will provide the ransom." My parents would say the same thing about giving up things to serve the Lord--that God provides--that He is worth serving. I have learned this to be true. I have seen with my own eyes the faithfulness of God.
I was raised by loving, wonderful parents who gave their lives to full time ministry. My dad was a pastor--always small churches and many in small, rural communities--a couple of them were church plants from scratch. He accepted the call, ready to serve the Lord wholeheartedly and did.
All of the churches were struggling financially. Many of them he had to take a second job to pay the bills which was always a challenge. I remember my parents having garage sales at the strangest times to come up with extra cash for something, and the sales were preceded by prayer for God to sell certain items--sometimes because the items were ridiculous and wouldn't sell without Divine intervention and sometimes just because we needed the particular amount that item would bring. Another time, my parents were out of money and saw that a truck full of meat had spilled on the highway. They were pretty excited until they realized it had been headed for the dog food plant. My mom once went without a new coat for 20 years. I remember because she cried the day that particular streak was broken. Anyway, there's a few examples for you. You get the picture.
Because of their finances they weren't able to own their own home.....until they were in their mid-fifties. My grandparents gifted my mom with a chunk of cash to help with a down payment, and the seller privately loaned my parents the part the bank wouldn't. We were all over-joyed to have that modest and wonderful home provided for us. When they were nearing their 70's and went to sell that home to move on to their new and final church ministry, the market had increased significantly, and they were able to buy their new home outright. The only problem was that Dad had to pay for a new roof on the old home and was going to take a small loan to do it. But he won a contest at a car dealership instead--for the exact amount needed to pay for that roof. Unbelievable.
Fast forward about 10 years. My dad passed away about 2 years after that move, leaving my mom with a home and a small pension from his years of driving school bus that he did to supplement his pastoral income. Meanwhile, Ryan and I had adopted a little baby boy in 2009. We had had financial struggles of our own for different reasons--nothing like my parents had, but real ones nonetheless. But for some reason God laid it on our hearts to dream and pray for a child through adoption. We had no idea how we would pay for the adoption, but when the time came, and we got the call that we had a baby to pick up in 5 days, God provided a private loan for us at literally the last moment. Eventually, by His grace, we were able to pay it back. In 2013, we decided to pursue adoption again. Once again we wondered how we would pay for it. It would cost twice as much this time around, and it was scary. But we looked back at God's faithfulness in 2009 when we were in ridiculous financial shape, and we remembered that He DID provide. We knew He would this time too, so we moved forward trusting Him. We got our call for our beautiful baby last March.
Today, my Friends. Today I paid off that loan taken out less than a year ago. I didn't think that would even be possible at the time. And do you know where that money came from? It came from my parents.
My mom died in early November leaving that paid-for-house to my siblings and I. It sold right away. We each received a portion. Not in my wildest dreams did I think my parents would fund our adoption. But God is GOOD. He is GOOD to those who put their lives in His hands. (And I'm speaking of my parents here.) He is not unjust to forget your work and the love you have shown towards His name. "Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure-- pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return."
When I realized that we would get this money, I felt guilty at first. I felt that it was sad that my parents had sacrificed so long and hard and I was the one going to benefit. But then I realized that by some crazy miracle my dad was going to be demonstrating Proverbs 13:22....and Hebrews 6:10, and Luke 6:38 and more. And really, it isn't my dad or mom demonstrating this, it is God demonstrating that His Word is true. That He is faithful. That He is generous. That He cares for His children.
And then I realized that I was foolish. That, yes, I would enjoy their earthly gift to me, but they were right at this very moment, enjoying eternal, heavenly rewards and the presence of their faithful God which is far greater.
My parents would be radiant to think they had some part in bringing a new life into their family. I can hear my dad's laugh in amazement and see the sparkles in their eyes to think that God had done this in this particular way. My mom got to meet and know and enjoy Zechariah before she died, and I know that this would have pleased her to no end.
When Ryan and I were first looking into adoption, we were in some of the worst financial shape we had ever been in, but I read somewhere then ( and I wish I could remember where to give credit) someone saying that we shouldn't let finances keep us from adoption because "God cares for the orphan in a special way and HE will provide the ransom." My parents would say the same thing about giving up things to serve the Lord--that God provides--that He is worth serving. I have learned this to be true. I have seen with my own eyes the faithfulness of God.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Red Profile Books, Sleep and More Waiting
Sometimes God allows situations where you become keenly aware that you are not the least bit in control. The adoption process is one of those.
We are at the point in our adoption journey where I am at a loss for what I should do. We had such a flurry of potential birth moms for a while, with all of them choosing other families. This isn't too surprising for us since we have 5 children. We aren't prime real estate. But still, we thought by now, somebody would have looked beyond the cover of our profile book and let God open their hearts to us.
With encouragement by our program director, we re-did our profile book. We made it bigger, less about our family, and more about us as a couple and our desire for another child. We even made the cover red because red is the color of choice we are told. And since then we have heard exactly nothing.
Of course, all along the way I have had my questions if we are in the right program, if we should pursue an independent adoption, should we go international or maybe do a state adoption? I've poured over waiting child lists. I've considered fasting. We've held family prayer meetings. I've prayed through sleepless nights. I've read blogs. I've prayed for the right attitude. I've packed suitcases to meet birth moms who didn't pan out. I've wept. I've prayed some more.
This morning as I was pouring over Psalms, trying to gain some encouragement, God led me to Psalm 127. I am familiar with this Psalm. It is read at child dedications, weddings--even church business meetings, etc. But today He opened it up anew to me.
Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain.
Well, I can feel the truth of that in the very center of my being--the "labor in vain" part. I feel absolutely helpless. Suffocatingly helpless.
It is vain to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors....
Hmmm.... new profile book? Agonizing throughout the day if we are in the right program? Agonizing throughout the night at times? Agonizing that we might be altogether crazy to do this at all?
For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.
Even in his SLEEP??? Even if they don't have the ideal profile?? Even if they are sure that they will fall short when compared to other families??? "EVEN in his sleep." I must let this wash over me and cool my fevered thoughts.
Behold, children are a gift of the Lord....
Children are a GIFT! We don't haggle about gifts. We don't tell the giver "Hey! You are late with my gift!" We don't set deadlines for gifts. We don't worry about gifts. They are a bonus! They are a surprise. They come easily. We don't worry ourselves over them. They are provided FOR us. The giver is working to get it, to provide it, to present it beautifully--all when the giver is ready--all for the purpose of blessing.
I am reminded that my Father is the Giver. He gave us this desire. We know that this is a Biblical desire. We've taken the steps to say we are open to His gift. It's up to Him. Now...if I could just rest in this....you might even say: "sleep".
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
We are at the point in our adoption journey where I am at a loss for what I should do. We had such a flurry of potential birth moms for a while, with all of them choosing other families. This isn't too surprising for us since we have 5 children. We aren't prime real estate. But still, we thought by now, somebody would have looked beyond the cover of our profile book and let God open their hearts to us.
With encouragement by our program director, we re-did our profile book. We made it bigger, less about our family, and more about us as a couple and our desire for another child. We even made the cover red because red is the color of choice we are told. And since then we have heard exactly nothing.
Of course, all along the way I have had my questions if we are in the right program, if we should pursue an independent adoption, should we go international or maybe do a state adoption? I've poured over waiting child lists. I've considered fasting. We've held family prayer meetings. I've prayed through sleepless nights. I've read blogs. I've prayed for the right attitude. I've packed suitcases to meet birth moms who didn't pan out. I've wept. I've prayed some more.
This morning as I was pouring over Psalms, trying to gain some encouragement, God led me to Psalm 127. I am familiar with this Psalm. It is read at child dedications, weddings--even church business meetings, etc. But today He opened it up anew to me.
Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain.
Well, I can feel the truth of that in the very center of my being--the "labor in vain" part. I feel absolutely helpless. Suffocatingly helpless.
It is vain to rise up early, to retire late, to eat the bread of painful labors....
Hmmm.... new profile book? Agonizing throughout the day if we are in the right program? Agonizing throughout the night at times? Agonizing that we might be altogether crazy to do this at all?
For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.
Even in his SLEEP??? Even if they don't have the ideal profile?? Even if they are sure that they will fall short when compared to other families??? "EVEN in his sleep." I must let this wash over me and cool my fevered thoughts.
Behold, children are a gift of the Lord....
Children are a GIFT! We don't haggle about gifts. We don't tell the giver "Hey! You are late with my gift!" We don't set deadlines for gifts. We don't worry about gifts. They are a bonus! They are a surprise. They come easily. We don't worry ourselves over them. They are provided FOR us. The giver is working to get it, to provide it, to present it beautifully--all when the giver is ready--all for the purpose of blessing.
I am reminded that my Father is the Giver. He gave us this desire. We know that this is a Biblical desire. We've taken the steps to say we are open to His gift. It's up to Him. Now...if I could just rest in this....you might even say: "sleep".
Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4
Friday, September 6, 2013
Thoughts on Adoption
We are in the process of a second adoption. We are in that gray, undefined period of time known as Waiting. We've completed all our paperwork, had our interviews,fingerprints, medical exams, written our personal history, philosophy, and disclosed our personal finances. We've even made our profile book--thanks to my oldest daughter. We are now just waiting.
I think a lot of waiting moms use this time to prepare for their child, maybe design a nursery, collect baby items, etc. As I wait, I think, rethink, analyze, doubt, question, pray and start the cycle again. (My husband is pretty laid back. He just goes on with life. I have no idea how he does it!) You must bear in mind that my mental process is not of a childless woman--I'm assuming their struggles are similar in many areas, but also different and much tougher in other ways. I can only write from where I am in my life as a mom to five.
When we were waiting for my youngest, we had struggles then too. We were concerned that we were getting too old to be a fun, normal family. (We're even older now!) We were concerned with and questioned ourselves on becoming a trans-racial family. (Now we are one!) We were concerned with possibly throwing a wrench into our happy family of biological-ness. (Nope! Our joy and fun has been magnified.) We were concerned that we would be able to get a loan to finance the adoption. (God supplied at the very hour of need. ) Then we were concerned with how we would ever pay back the loan. (God graciously provided.) As I look back at those concerns and compare them to the ones I have now, I see some similarities and then I see some as not an issue this time. I also see that God was completely faithful--that what He called us to, He saw us through.
And yet I mull. If you are one who seeks after God's will for your life, and if you are pregnant, you typically don't question whether or not it's God's will for you to add to your family. But when you have 5 children and are 40, and you have to choose to go into significant debt to do it, it's a different ballgame--at least for me. But as I think and re-analyze, I am reminded that HE laid this on our hearts. HE gave us the desire. We can't imagine life without our little one--he adds so much joy and spark and LIFE. We are BLESSED.
A couple of big encouragers to me are:
1) My husband. How many men would choose to go this route when they've got a house full?? My son pointed this out one evening when we were all sitting around talking. He's so right. This takes some unusual love and selflessness. I am so blessed to have him as a godly example to our children that this life is for serving God, being about HIS business, taking care of who God has entrusted to him and being unafraid to take on more responsibility.
2) My older kids. They continually bless me with a heart for adoption. They are willing and excited to share the love. They also soothe my fears with saying things like: "Mom, you should see how old some of my friends' parents are. You'll be fine." And: "We'll all just crowd in in this house. It'll be fine! We won't need to move again!!" However, they could do better with their vehicle perspective: "We need a bigger car!! When can we get a bigger car?? We're so uncomfortable back here! Ouch! get your elbow out of my ribs!" Ah, well...can't have it all I guess.
3) And then there's our little one. Our sought after, prayed for one. The one added in faith and fear. Oh, where to start? Where to end once I start? He is the best encouragement for this second adoption--this child that God miraculously placed in our family. When I hear him pray or sing a song about Jesus, when I see him joyfully interact with a godly daddy--HIS daddy, when I see his brother or sister put their head to his and talk gently with him, when I lift him up into the grocery cart, when I hear him giggle, when I snuggle with him on his pillow with a book, when I feel his arms around my neck, when he smashes up next to me, I know. I KNOW that this is what we should be doing. It may or may not happen a second time. But we will, in faith, take the steps, and God will direct how He sees fit.
A couple of extra random thoughts:
1) People have said how lucky or blessed our little one is. On the contrary--WE are blessed.
2) People sometimes assume that you are adopting to do a good deed. While there are adoptions that do rescue, we adopted because we desired a child. Bottom line. We adopted to fulfill a desire. I wish I were more saintly. But that is the truth.
3) Foreign adoptions are needed but so are Domestic.
4)Don't let the idea of being debt-free be the main reason keeping you from this ministry/blessing. I don't know anyone who can pay for this out-right. (Something I continue to re-hash.)
5)We are not Home yet.
I think a lot of waiting moms use this time to prepare for their child, maybe design a nursery, collect baby items, etc. As I wait, I think, rethink, analyze, doubt, question, pray and start the cycle again. (My husband is pretty laid back. He just goes on with life. I have no idea how he does it!) You must bear in mind that my mental process is not of a childless woman--I'm assuming their struggles are similar in many areas, but also different and much tougher in other ways. I can only write from where I am in my life as a mom to five.
When we were waiting for my youngest, we had struggles then too. We were concerned that we were getting too old to be a fun, normal family. (We're even older now!) We were concerned with and questioned ourselves on becoming a trans-racial family. (Now we are one!) We were concerned with possibly throwing a wrench into our happy family of biological-ness. (Nope! Our joy and fun has been magnified.) We were concerned that we would be able to get a loan to finance the adoption. (God supplied at the very hour of need. ) Then we were concerned with how we would ever pay back the loan. (God graciously provided.) As I look back at those concerns and compare them to the ones I have now, I see some similarities and then I see some as not an issue this time. I also see that God was completely faithful--that what He called us to, He saw us through.
And yet I mull. If you are one who seeks after God's will for your life, and if you are pregnant, you typically don't question whether or not it's God's will for you to add to your family. But when you have 5 children and are 40, and you have to choose to go into significant debt to do it, it's a different ballgame--at least for me. But as I think and re-analyze, I am reminded that HE laid this on our hearts. HE gave us the desire. We can't imagine life without our little one--he adds so much joy and spark and LIFE. We are BLESSED.
A couple of big encouragers to me are:
1) My husband. How many men would choose to go this route when they've got a house full?? My son pointed this out one evening when we were all sitting around talking. He's so right. This takes some unusual love and selflessness. I am so blessed to have him as a godly example to our children that this life is for serving God, being about HIS business, taking care of who God has entrusted to him and being unafraid to take on more responsibility.
2) My older kids. They continually bless me with a heart for adoption. They are willing and excited to share the love. They also soothe my fears with saying things like: "Mom, you should see how old some of my friends' parents are. You'll be fine." And: "We'll all just crowd in in this house. It'll be fine! We won't need to move again!!" However, they could do better with their vehicle perspective: "We need a bigger car!! When can we get a bigger car?? We're so uncomfortable back here! Ouch! get your elbow out of my ribs!" Ah, well...can't have it all I guess.
3) And then there's our little one. Our sought after, prayed for one. The one added in faith and fear. Oh, where to start? Where to end once I start? He is the best encouragement for this second adoption--this child that God miraculously placed in our family. When I hear him pray or sing a song about Jesus, when I see him joyfully interact with a godly daddy--HIS daddy, when I see his brother or sister put their head to his and talk gently with him, when I lift him up into the grocery cart, when I hear him giggle, when I snuggle with him on his pillow with a book, when I feel his arms around my neck, when he smashes up next to me, I know. I KNOW that this is what we should be doing. It may or may not happen a second time. But we will, in faith, take the steps, and God will direct how He sees fit.
A couple of extra random thoughts:
1) People have said how lucky or blessed our little one is. On the contrary--WE are blessed.
2) People sometimes assume that you are adopting to do a good deed. While there are adoptions that do rescue, we adopted because we desired a child. Bottom line. We adopted to fulfill a desire. I wish I were more saintly. But that is the truth.
3) Foreign adoptions are needed but so are Domestic.
4)Don't let the idea of being debt-free be the main reason keeping you from this ministry/blessing. I don't know anyone who can pay for this out-right. (Something I continue to re-hash.)
5)We are not Home yet.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)