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Friday, January 13, 2012

You've Been Reading A Lot of Amish Fiction When...

1) You know the meaning of "Ferhoodled", "Rumspringa", and "Daudi Haus".

2) You know the meaning of "Ferhoodled", "Rumspringa" and "Daudi Haus" and try to incorporate them into your everyday, Englischer life.

3) You find yourself "redding up" the house.

4) The plot of your story involves young people in conflict about joining church or owning a car.

5) The Mennonites are the "rebels".

6) You start wondering if celery really does have fertility merits.

7) You find yourself hoping the bride chooses to take her vows in purple instead of green.

8) You suspect that they've outlawed buttons primarily because the bishop's wife hates to make buttonholes.

9) You can name half the counties in Pennsylvania.

10) You totally get the gravity of the following excerpt: "Her beau freely admitted to not only riding a bike, but taking his turn driving a dune buggy..."    

Thursday, January 12, 2012

So Predictable

This admission will probably not really surprise anybody.  In fact, it will probably just confirm a few things for you.  I love Amish fiction.  "But they are all exactly the same."  you might say.  Of course they aren't EXACTLY the same.  There are minor plot changes.  For instance, the widowed heroine versus the young girl still in her rumspringa versus the 23 year old "maidel" who thinks there is no hope for her because she's too old to go to "singings".   There's the occasional buggy accident, barn fire or threat of shunning to keep things spicy and motivate me to get through the dishes faster.
I've had just enough German to make me really confused with their Pennsylvania Dutch while at the same time giving me the feeling of bilingualism. "Wie bisch du?"  "Oh, they're saying 'How are you'.  Wait! Why aren't they saying 'Wie bist  du'??
The description of their food intrigues me with their simple, hearty recipes and inspires me to ...well not really.  I do manage to convince myself that there really is no need to diet, 'cause look at the Amish.  They cook and eat all the time.  All you really need is enough hard work. (As I turn the page and reach for another Dove.)
The other night I was excitedly telling Ryan about the new series that I got for Christmas.  "The plot is all different!"  I said.  And I elaborated on how the plot had taken several twists and turns that I hadn't encountered before.  My husband's response was "That doesn't sound very stimulating."  Come. on.
I had to actually defend myself by playing the "I'm-a-mother-of-five-and-home-schooler- Do-I need- more stimuli?" card.
And Amish books make me more grateful.  Grateful for God's grace.  I don't have to worry about following extra-Biblical rules to earn and keep my salvation or stay in fellowship with friends and family.  And I'd be lying if I didn't admit to being grateful for electricity, a car, make-up, blue jeans, some guy who mows my lawn every Tuesday, and the fact that my husband isn't expected to wear one of those dorky beards. (So shallow, but I KNOW he is grateful I don't have to wear the dowdy clothes.)
My Amish Fiction is cheesy.  I know.  It is all the same except for the names....no that's not true either.But I love it.  I'm a plain and simple kind of girl.