I did a lot of laundry today, along with banana bread baking, a haircut in the kitchen for my oldest boy, shucking corn with my littlest boy.
We grilled steak and ate on the deck, lingering in the beautiful evening, reluctant to let the summer go. As it slips away into the night, I am preparing to send another child out tomorrow--out from MY comfort zone and into "the world". I am surprisingly at peace this evening before another new beginning. This was NOT the case a few short months ago when I nearly panicked at the thought.
I had taken my daughters to the year end speech awards night at the high school. There were lengthy speeches (and I DO mean lengthy) given by the departing seniors of how much Speech had meant to them. ( I was like: Speech? Really?? But that's another post.) Somewhere in the midst of these speeches filled with good and bad, reminiscing and advice, I became utterly filled with fear. I suddenly could not picture putting my son into this realm. For some reason, it seemed so much more scary putting a boy into that atmosphere than it had a girl (and I had been plenty scared then). I was afraid to the point of wanting out--out of Silverton, out of our small church and back--back to the safety and cleanliness and godliness of living that our former Christian school and large church community offered.
I went home that night and poured out my gut-wrenching fears to my husband. He, as usual, calmed me down and told me all would be well. He reassured me that our boy would be just fine, that he had a good head on his shoulders and that God would take care of him.
Well, since I had come to the end of my math expertise, and there were no available Christian schools nearby, and my son would have been devastated to spend another year in the dull-drums of being tied to my apron strings; and since my husband seemed to be so confident, I had no choice but to take a deep breath and pray.
Somehow, between now and then, God has given me peace. I've seen godly maturity developing, and I've seen his excitement unfolding at this new adventure. It helps to have his big sister there looking out for him. And I'm sure having an insanely busy summer has helped redirect my energies as well. I've seen God's faithfulness to my daughter. And I've observed that God has used her to be a light to a dark world. Such great joy I have when I hear of how she's been able to share about God's plan of salvation with a friend, or how a teacher is blessed by her attitude. And imagine the puzzlement they all experience when they hear why we've moved here to begin with! So strange!
Well, the hour is late and tomorrow will be here too soon. These are just some reflections from a proud, scared, and blessed mom. It's a good evening to remember I Thessalonians 5:24.
" The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it."
