I'm At It Again

"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

I'm thinking too far down the road again.  When I do that, I get myself into trouble.  It's not necessarily trouble that any of you could detect.  It's more of an anxiousness that eats at me.  I can easily get myself into a tizzy at how things are versus what I think they should be.  I've caught it building and building the last couple of days, and soon I won't be able to handle the tension I've created for myself so I will have to let it out with trying to fix things on my own.

It's not like it's that far down the road either.  Really.  Kind of.  I mean.  Next school year isn't so far away (as much as I'd like to think it is), so I should have a plan for my kids.  And then there is: who will rent our house come August?  Oh, and isn't it time to start work on a second adoption before our littlest grows up and I'm in dentures?  And that will mean we need a car that seats eight. (We literally just paid off the one we have.)  And: Wow, our oldest daughter turns 16 next year---sure would be nice to have a house that could accommodate a "friend party" if we wanted.   And what about a bathtub?  The little guy is about to outgrow the kitchen sink.....  Yep, It's all up there.  In my head.  Right now.  Making me anxious and crabby and just a little wacky.  Struggling to give it to the One who can do anything about any of this.

As many of you know, our church just had it's very first ladies' retreat.  And having the budget that we do, I was asked to do the first session.   The subject of the retreat was on prayer.  And as many of you gathered from my facebook posts, it was a challenge for me to compile my thoughts into an outline and verbally share them.  God was faithful and helped it to come together, and by His grace, I think my session went OK.  But what is funny is that my friend and pastor's wife, Laura, warned me.  She warned me that when you teach on something, to be careful, because quite often God chooses to challenge you in that area.  Well, Laura, you are so right!

 I am so caught up right now in MY timeline and MY dreams, that I am starting to look anxiously about me.  I want to jump in and get everything on track for MY plans to work out.  But I know this isn't how it should be.   God says that He wants me to cast my cares on Him.  He wants to bear my burdens.  HE has plans for me and I need to rest in them and wait on Him.  "Preach it to yourself, Girl!" I'm telling myself. And so I will:

Isaiah 41:10 "Do not fear for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you.  Surely, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."